


i think dogs should vote!

by thecanary



Category: South Park
Genre: Other, Polyamory, adopting a dog?, getting a pet dog, like adopt dont shop aye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 01:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16506329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecanary/pseuds/thecanary
Summary: Clyde has a 'great' idea, Craig commits to the bit, and Bebe is pleasantly surprised by the surprise.this wasnt so much as gun to my head as, a vague threat of a knifing from @twitchy_hands but its all in good fun. as per usual i've never seen south park before in my life





	i think dogs should vote!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twitchy_hands](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twitchy_hands/gifts).



"So we're doing this?" Craig deadpanned. 

It wasn't their decision, Clyde had definitely taking the lead on this one, running headstrong into making decisions that were 50/50 on the 'good idea' front. It was also a 50/50 on the Bebe approving front. Someone better at maths probably could have run the numbers on the intersection there, but hey, Clyde thought it would go well, and Craig figured it'd be a laugh either way. 

"We have to!" Clyde replied. "Plus she's not allergic to dogs or anything? Like, she's said before that she does want a dog, so what's wrong with a surprise dog?"  
"Let's not unpack that."

And with that they were off to the nearest shelter ('adopt, don't shop' as the saying goes), in search of a dog. It didn't take long, Craig driving and playing music, while Clyde occasionally fucked with the volume when the song playing was a 'real banger'. 

"It's like, we probably shouldn't listen to any music on the drive back, in case the dog gets upset, so make the most of it now."  
"I can't fault that logic at all, so that's impressive for you. But look, we're five minutes away, remind me what else we need to buy?"

The duo had spent the last week stocking the house with dog supplies that Bebe wouldn't notice, so all they had to get from the shelter was larger things that wouldn't fly under the radar at home before they had the dog. 

"Food, including treats, dog bed, and a collar. Remember, we were gonna get one before but it's like 'what size dog are we even getting' so we'll wait 'til we've chosen and that'll be easier," Clyde rambled, unable to wipe the grin from his face.   
"Alright, so, we'll go and look at the dogs, if there's one we like we can go pick a bed, collar, and food based on that, yeah?"   
"Sounds good to me!" Clyde gave a double thumbs up that Craig only just saw out of the corner of their eye, on account of trying to pay attention as they drove. 

Sure, dogs were more Clyde and Bebe's thing than Craig's, but they were willing to put that aside in order to humour Clyde's surprise - which Bebe was bound to find hilarious, and also to support Clyde and Bebe. Once Craig had parked, and not a minute later, Clyde was already out of the car, doing as dignified of a mad dash to the entrance as he could manage. With a shake of his head and a smile, Craig looked down as he locked the car, following behind Clyde at a slightly slower speed. A bell hung on the door frame rung once as the door opened, Clyde waiting for Craig to catch up before letting the door swing shut, ringing the bell again. A sign, hung near the entrace 'Dogs! this way->' was what drew their eyes quickly, and Clyde turned his head to grin at Craig before walking in the direction of the arrow. 

In the dog area, a block where dogs were kept in units somewhere between a cage and a small room, there was chaos. Plenty of dogs barking, making Craig have to remind themself why they were there, and that dogs don't normally bark that much anyway, its just because there are so many in the one space, we can pick a really friendly dog, it won't even bark much anyway -

"Hey, you with me there?" Clyde asked.   
"Oh, yeah, here, in the dog room. The loud dog room. With lots of loud dogs."

A pause, as Clyde tried to decipher how genuine Craig was being. 

"I'm kidding. It took me by surprise a little, that's all. It's all chill."

They gave a weak thumbs up, not one to overuse the gesture, but wanting to match the thumbs up Clyde had given them before entering. Clyde was looking at the dogs in awe, giving each of them a wave and saying hello, each one of them catching his attention; Craig was less enraptured, but loved seeing the look on his boyfriend's face, Clyde's enthusiasm infectious enough that Craig did start to smile a little more at the dogs. 

"Perfect dog!"   
"You found one?" Craig asked.   
"Yes!"

Craig made their way over to where Clyde was, crouched down to look at the dog. Its colouring was that of a German shepherd, though it had softer looking hair and a frame somewhere between a grey hound and a Labrador. 

"What is that?" Craig asked, starting to read the small placard on the outside of the dog's enclosure.   
"A bitsa."  
"A what?"  
"You know, bitsa this, bitsa that."  
"So a mutt?"  
"Well if you wanna be blunt. But don't let her hear you say that." Clyde jerked his head towards the dog. 

Somehow the dog seemed to know that she was being talked about, perking up and trotting over towards the two, tongue lolling out of her mouth. Using his whole hand, Clyde pointed at the dog again. The unspoken 'see she's perfect' was obvious to both of them. Within minutes they'd gotten back up and spoken to the owner of the shelter, sorted out the paperwork for adoption, and started to round up the last supplies they'd need before going back to the car to drive home, with the dog. 

"What do you think of this collar?" Clyde asked.   
"Ooh, like the green."  
"Well, I'd call it teal, but we can leave it at that."

Craig shook his head with a laugh. "We can and should. So that collar then?"  
Clyde nodded.

From there, registering themselves onto the dog's microchip, affirming they were happy keeping the name for her that she'd been given at the shelter - Sadie, and making sure everything was in order was easy enough. Once they were walking out the door, even Craig couldn't help but have a huge grin on their face. The ride back home was quieter, though Sadie barked every so often; Clyde comforted her though, sat in the back seat so as to keep her settled for the drive. Bebe wasn't going to be home for a bit, so they'd have time to set up the dog bed, food and water bowls, all the necessary but boring stuff, so once Bebe was there it could be all fun and games with Sadie. Clyde's excitement made the drive home simultaneously fly by quick as anything and drag on, seemingly forever. 

"And alright, we're here," Craig said, turning onto their street.   
"Oh thank god, I was just starting to get too bored to cope."  
"Isn't that the rationale behind half your choices."  
"Aw shut it."

Craig got out of the car first, opening the door for Clyde so that he could get out with Sadie and walk her inside. Craig got the bag of dog food and the dog bed before following behind Clyde. Flipping his key ring around his finger, Clyde took it out of his pocket, letting the two of them in. There was no debate that Sadie would be an inside dog. Even if they had said 'oh no we can totally just keep her as an outside dog' someone would have caved, or all of them, within the week. They didn't even have high hopes for her being a 'not on the furniture' or 'not sleeping in our bed' dog, though she still needed a bed of her own, of course. 

So they waited, sitting on the ground in their living room, Sadie happy to just be there, getting petted and occasionally having a bit of tug o' war. After a while they were even just sitting together, Sadie's head resting on Clyde's leg, Clyde and Craig leaning on each other, Clyde's head resting on Craig's shoulder, Craig's head resting on Clyde's. It had been a hectic day of getting stuff together, so they almost completely forgot about the surprise aspect of it by the time Bebe got home. Luckily they heard the door swing open, startling them both into getting everything together as quickly as they could. 

"Okay Craig, you hide Sadie in the laundry, I'll distract Bebe, and then once you're done come back to the front door and we can surprise her together," Clyde said, practically jumping to his feet.   
Craig gave a quick nod, rousing Sadie with a gentle pat; she followed him over to the laundry happily, tail wagging, as Clyde went to the front door. 

"Hey darling," he said with a smile, pulling Bebe into a hug. "Welcome home, welcome home. "  
Bebe accepted the hug happily, resting her head on his. After the hug went on for a beat longer than usual, with Clyde showing no signs of moving - he couldn't think of a better way to stall her from accidentally seeing Sadie than physically - she got slightly suspicious.   
"So what's this about?" she asked with a smile as they pulled apart from each other.  
Clyde took a breath before replied, exhaling it as a sigh of relief when he saw Craig walking towards them.   
"We have a surprise for you!" Clyde said with a grin. 

Bebe's face was fear and anticipation. A surprise could be anything from a surprise present or party to some horrifying new stunt by Clyde. Craig seemed to recognise this face - it was one they themself had experienced time and time again when interacting with Clyde. 

"Don't worry," they said. "It's a good surprise for sure. Though my word might not be the seal of approval you're looking for."

Bebe laughed and shook her head. "You two better not have done something irreconcilably stupid."  
"Listen I'm so stupid I'm only fifty percent sure I know what that word means," Clyde remarked.   
Bebe playfully smacked him atop his head. "Tch, you're pretty stupid but not in that way."  
"I'd say he's stupid in plenty of ways," Craig said, cheeky smile on their face making it clear it was a joke. "Kidding, kidding," he added, for clarity's sake.   
"So lads, what's this great surprise?"  
"Come to the living room!"

Bebe nodded and followed Craig, Clyde hanging back a little. Craig settled down with Bebe on the couch.

"Okay, I'm gonna go get the surprise now, make sure you have your eyes closed."

No sooner had Clyde spoken that Sadie whined from in the laundry - probably felt like she'd been left alone for too long. 

"Ignore that! Eyes closed!" Clyde reiterated. 

Bebe complied as Clyde went to the laundry, getting Sadie by hooking his fingers through her collar - he didn't want her running straight to Bebe and Craig and spoiling the surprise. Once he was sat on the floor in front of the couch, with Sadie sat beside him, he spoke again. "Alright, you can open your eyes."

Bebe had been a bit suspicious, from hearing the whining from the laundry and then the extra muffled breaths as Clyde returned to the room, so she wasn't sure if she'd guessed what the surprise was going to be or not before she opened her eyes and saw it. 

 

"A dog!" she exclaimed.  
"Yeah!"  
"What's its name?"  
"Her name's Sadie," Craig said.   
"And you two just, got me a dog?"  
"Well, we got us a dog," Clyde rationalised. "Well, you mentioned you wanted one, and you love dogs, so I figured, why the fuck not, right?"  
"And Craig was in on this?"  
"Of course I was. Not about to volunteer to miss a surprise this fun."  
"You two! This is probably the most impulsive, reckless thing you've ever done," she said, pausing for a second. "But I love it. This is too kind. C'mere," she added, extending her arms out to the two of them for a hug, not even trying to wipe the cheesy grin off of her face. 

Craig leaned in close to her and Clyde got up from the floor to join the hug, Sadie walking over to sit as close to the trio as possible. 

"I love you," Bebe said.   
"Us or the dog?"  
"Shut up, Craig. I'm sure she means the dog."  
"Shut up both of you," Bebe said. "I love all of you."

There was a beat of silence, and a slight sniffle came from Clyde. 

"Don't worry," Bebe added. "None of us will notice if you have a little cry."  
"Happy tears, happy tears," he reassured her. "Thanks."


End file.
